Online dating cliches may have more meaning than intended.
People are generally looking for a way to find an interesting and seductive relationship. Sex may not be their number one priority, but sex, sexuality and seduction are certainly on their mind.
Here’s an NLP perspective on a few hated cliches. What are they saying? What has to be true for them to say that? What are they really saying about themselves?
“Looking to make friends”
- LOL, on a “dating” site?
- They are either saying they don’t have any friends, or they don’t have enough friends. Why? Maybe people don’t like them.
- Translation: “I’ll meet with anyone and I’m a tease (but not if you’re hot!).”
“Hello, is it me you’re looking for?”
- Come-on, a song lyric? Do they know how many others are using this line?
- Likes to state the obvious. People are looking, for one of two reasons.
- Looking for someone that appeals to them.
- Checking out the competition. (Which they obviously didn’t do.)
- Translation: “I succumb to media messages, just like others using this line.”
“Looking for my knight in shining armor”
- Back when knights apparently had a chivalrous and protective / possessive attitude, (That could just be on TV.) this may have been taken literally. In those days, women expected to do all the cooking, cleaning, washing and armor polishing.
- If they wrote “I will do all the cooking, cleaning, washing and armor polishing.”, they would have a lineup of “Knights”.
- Translation: “Do you have a nice car and enough money to look after me and my shopping habits?”
“No baggage, please!”
- How old do they want? Even barely legal age, already has baggage.
- The older people are, the more baggage they have.
- Some baggage is absolutely awesome and some is crap.
- What’s really important is how people deal with their baggage, appreciating the good and applying lessons learned from the bad.
- Translation: “No crappy baggage unloading. I already have my own to deal with.”
“I don’t bite, unless you ask me to”
- This shows they will respect your boundaries, even though they have none.
- Translation: “I’ll do anything you want with my mouth. (and I’ll do anything you want, if you’re hot!)”
- Worse is “I don’t bite hard :-)”. If you get it, it’s cute (they do something else to “hard”). If it’s taken literally, (just a little teeth action) it scares the hell out of most prospects.
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best”
- An incomplete quote from Marilyn Monroe. Whats missing, is a description of their worst. Kind of important info wouldn’t you say?
- At least they have announced that they need handling when at their worst.
- Translation: “I’m out of control and have huge mood swings.”
“I don’t take life too seriously”
- Seriously, how serious is too serious? Is having direction and striving to achieve some goals, too serious?
- Translation: “Easy come, easy go. Oh and put up with my shit while you are here or you are taking life too seriously.”
“I work hard, play hard”
- What about sleep hard 😉 ?
- This is an announcement that they have a busy schedule. Better be available for their play schedule, or you won’t see much of them.
- Translation: “I don’t relax very often. Either put up with me, keep up with me, or date someone else. It’s all about me!”
“My children are everything to me”
- As apposed to “My children mean nothing to me.”?.
- Just in case you were wondering if they are a heartless bastard / bitch.
- Children = more than one. How many kids are they talking about?
- This is an announcement that their children run their life, rather than them running the children’s lives. Saying “My kids mean the world to me” makes up for their lack of control.
- Translation: “My kids better like you or you are out! That is, if they ever find out about you and want to check you out.”
- They will laugh at everything and bubble babble on about anything that gets them attention.
- Translation: “I’m an attention whore.”
Best Online Dating Strategy:
- Get a service that does personal interviews and checks out that the people are as advertized.
- Many of these also set up meetings for you with “compatible” prospects.
Seven Steps For Success On Self Serve Online Dating Sites.
- People are not “checked out” or advised on how best to convey what they want to say, so ignore basically everything that anybody has written. As seen above, many of them may not know what they are saying when they use cliches.
- Look at the pictures for people you find visually appealing (hopefully most of those are real). later, you may get the chance to find out how they think, sound, smell and feel.
- Copy and paste your chosen intro message, every 19 days, to the ones you find visually appealing. A funny and unique intro, followed by normal small talk.
- Keep repeating this step over and over, all through the following steps.
- Remember that it’s a numbers game and you don’t have someone doing this for you. Not everyone is going to find your look appealing.
- Remember that even after meeting and liking what you hear, they may not “check out”. Then you are going to be happy you have “more in the pipeline”.
- If they reply to your message, ask how the site is treating them.
- If they reply back, ignore whatever they say and simply ask for their number with something like this: “I’m not on here much. Give me your number and I’ll give you a call sometime. (your real name).”
- Call with a plan to meet. Coffee or a drink in a public place.
- At the meeting, take it further only when appropriate.
- Don’t let the looks you like, fool you. Listen with an “I believe everything you say”attitude. Ask a few open questions so they can tell you more. You will find out how they sound and think. Even what their motivators, beliefs, biases and values are.
- Don’t take anything personally or seriously. Everything they say might be a load of crap anyway and if you don’t like what you hear, you are not going to see them again. So who cares
- If you like what you hear, before you believe it, you are going to have to find some other proof to support what they say. That, will probably need more time and some more meetings.
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